Whirlwind Publishing

Today, I came across a site called NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month). I was immediately inspired by the suggestion for today’s blog post: How Do You Feel About the Name given to you at birth?

I do not possess the name I was given at birth. We parted ways, legally, over a decade ago. Since assuming my true name my life has changed in fundamental ways. I have gotten married and divorced. I had a child and he’ll be entering first grade in September. I have written and published three books. I have published the work of three other authors. However, the change that underlines and informs all other changes is that I am more myself.

My mother let my father name me and he named me according to naming practices which also decided his name. I was the first daughter of my mother so my name was ordained. Apparently, it wasn’t significant that my dad had two older daughters; one of whom happened to be the first daughter of her mother. Therefore she and I shared the same name. With the hindsight of 20/20, it seemed as if I was designed to fit into a construct; one which didn’t fit. As a result, I was Toby with his foot cut off, not Kunta who had a penchant for running from slavery.

When I learned about freedom, I wanted to be free and freedom meant a new name. Frederick Douglass, not Frederick Bailey. Harriet Tubman, not Araminta Ross. Assata Shakur, not JoAnne Cheismard. In other words, I wanted the freedom that comes with self-naming. However, ironies of ironies, in obtaining that freedom, I became more bound to my family, more my mother’s daughter, more decidedly African than I had been under my birth name. To quote a Bessie Head character, “I [was] just an African”.

djehuti juice chaliced
she art mixes
with tumbleweed cravings
for obsolete nicotine

she wants to shit art
just defecate it into existence
but seshat tribal markings
make mockery
of such burroughisms

stuck in a strange alchemy
of matriarchy and matricide
she wants to kill
and not only her landlord

This one is very special to me… It came up & out from my heart & my experience. Hope you can feel me
*************************************************

As my body was being racked with anxiety…
feeling like the bottom was being pulled from
beneath me & the pain seemed much too much
to bare, he held me….
Tightly
Him, determined to transfer his strength to me
And no matter how hard I tried to run,
HE HELD ME…
He spoke to me with love on his tongue &
authority in his language…
Telling those old demons that they couldn’t
have me because I was HIS now…his love…
his woman & he will protect me by any means
necessary
Having never had this before, I was
unable to accept or believe completely, so I fought
him a little more but he fought too
Fought to show me he wasn’t letting go…
Fought to show me I was WORTH the fight
He fought for me when I couldn’t fight…
He fought the pain, the hurt & the anxiety
with the most powerful weapon known
to man: LOVE
And he loved me
Loved me deeply…
Filling that space between something &
nothingness
Told me I should never look down at the
ground again…I’m better than that
HE….HELD…ME…
Yi’Chomia’ he said, speaking to my heart
in his language
And I couldn’t help but answer: Yi’Chomae’
Wanting him, needing him
We got lost & engulfed in a lover’s embrace
Held on for dear life…
And I never knew love’s embrace could feel
so gooooooooooooood….

YeYo (Melanie)

This one just came up & out…how? I really don’t know. But here it is… RESPECT
*********************************************************

Steady… steady
Can’t fall…can’t miss
I can do this
I HAVE to do this
I have to keep going
Even though my heart is heavy
& my soul is a bit weary
Even though each breath is labored
& each step feels like I’m sinking in
quicksand
I HAVE to do this
Steady…steady
Don’t fall…don’t quit
Even though some days my mind
is spinning & fuzzy
And my emotions are hard to separate
so it would seem that I love to hate
Even though my dreams seem too big
for this world & sometimes this woman
reverts back into a little girl…
I have to keep going
I just can’t submit
I HAVE to do this
Steady…steady
Even though tears sometimes blur my
vision & living this life seems to be an
impossible mission
Even though I ache sometimes down to
the bone & my spirit man trembles at the
fear of being left alone…
I have to keep going
I just can’t relent
I HAVE to do this
I have to keep writing…keep living
If not for myself, for others
You see, I AM A MOTHER
I AM A DAUGHTER
I AM A LOVER
I AM A SISTER
I AM A NIECE
I AM A COUSIN
AND…I…
AM…A
POET…
So as I take these final steps &
center myself on the stage,
I know that I HAVE to do this because,
perhaps, someone needs to hear what I
have to say
Steady….steady…
Yeeeeeeeaaaa
And for this reason, MY PEN…
My pen will never stop….

YeYo (Melanie)

Ummmmm yea….

*****************************************************

He coasted on the Milky Way
Bathe in pure delight at the site of
my center plain
And I felt no pain…just ecstasy as he
totally & fully possessed me
He explored my human-verse
Twisting the tone of my voice into
a strange falsetto
I mean, I almost forgot that I was
an alto…
The stars slid through the slits of
his fingers leaving flecks of solar
matter on the inside of his palms…
Flecks of all that mattered…
ALL THAT MATTERED: ME
Then he did this crazy
DIP SWOOP SPIN
Making my back arch & my knees bend…
putting me that much closer to the heavens
Pure poetry in motion is his essence
& I inhaled every bit, piece, & particle
Every skin cell…every intricate follicle
He proceeded in his conversation with my
womanhood
Intertwining “I love you” in the folds of his
passion
Leaving me emotionally & physically
climaxing
He made the gravity of the universe
reposition things on the inside
of me & made me feel something
new…
I almost cried as I realized the skeptics
had lied
Fairytales & dreams do still come true
And I embrace this revelation as I coast
on the Milky Way too…

YeYo (Melanie)